i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize