how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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