I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
