he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
try to milk me bitch
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
