it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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