I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
