i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We're too hungover to prance.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
