i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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