I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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