Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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