How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
