This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
