is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
