pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
True college students do jello shots in the library
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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