Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
