my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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