If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
