I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
third nipple confirmed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
