He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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