I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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