so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
