they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just cropdusted the office
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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