Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
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