I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
