Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
