Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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