so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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