how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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