Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
