i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
