epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
A bitchslap is in order.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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