we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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