5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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