bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You left your phone here
Wait...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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