i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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