LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize