To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
