READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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