forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize