you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
