Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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