You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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