I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
