Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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