Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Um...??

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's excited

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  (402): Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight (1-402): Um...?? (402): She's excited http://tfl.nu/c04o
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (1383)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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  (850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot
  Replies (80) Good night (4244) Bad night (853)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but fathers day is next sunday

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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  (781): i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day (617): but fathers day is next sunday (781): i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet http://tfl.nu/pxvx
  Replies (14) Good night (1006) Bad night (4414)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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  (727): Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus http://tfl.nu/l3dr
  Replies (17) Good night (3012) Bad night (842)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
  Replies (57) Good night (709) Bad night (6641)
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  (916): View more from California

  she's into porn, im staying here tonight

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  (916): she's into porn, im staying here tonight http://tfl.nu/jlgw
  Replies (31) Good night (6857) Bad night (812)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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  (248): Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone. http://tfl.nu/k3in
  Replies (11) Good night (976) Bad night (5185)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

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  (513): So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand. http://tfl.nu/k6dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6908) Bad night (1492)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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  (309): stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof. http://tfl.nu/lut1
  Replies (8) Good night (2895) Bad night (1026)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.

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  (336): Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom. http://tfl.nu/g9fv
  Replies (2) Good night (1301) Bad night (774)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?

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  (817): You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember? http://tfl.nu/aoja
  Replies (0) Good night (1044) Bad night (533)
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  (958): View more from

  her vagina just converted me to Judaism.

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  (958): her vagina just converted me to Judaism. http://tfl.nu/z5ti
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (532)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?

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  (780): So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over? http://tfl.nu/dz02
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (407)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk

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  (937): The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk http://tfl.nu/zlrw
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (213)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.

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  (908): A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself. http://tfl.nu/6o5y
  Replies (1) Good night (171) Bad night (387)

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