At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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