Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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