I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Shame - the story of my life.
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