i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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