you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
