**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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