Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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