i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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