I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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