i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
