don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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