so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you bring me the toilet please
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I want to fling myself into the sun
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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