Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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