'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize